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Archive for the ‘Den of Anime Shit’ Category

Black Clover

May 22, 2018 Leave a comment

A shounen that has magical fighting battles with BOOKS, and TWO MCs instead of ONE?  Sign me the FUCK UP! There’s just one teeny, tiny, little, ITTY BITTY PROBLEM. It’s called “ASTA’S SCREAMING FACE HOLE”. Darn.

asta scream

HEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYERRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (Approximate noise me makes, always)

That’s right, fam. The MC (#1) can’t actually SHUT THE FUCK UP, ever. He screams. Always. I don’t know how you get past this, it’s constant, HE’S ONE OF THE MCs, it’s not like he GOES AWAY. For shame.

The plot is IDK Link saved the world from TEH DEMONS (when does he not), and now they are always BATTLE READY for everything with their super magic books. The number of clovers you have on a book means that UR A WIZARD HARRY.

totally not link

“WITNESS ME!”     -Totally not Link. Nope.

There’s some sorta cool character development, I guess, cuzz Asta goes from NO MAGICKS to ANTI-MAGICKS, and the other MC, EMO EDGELORD-chan, is super powerful because he can be STOIC AND SILENT. Maybe he’s really strong? Maybe it’s just Maybelline. Anyhow, none of that matters because the show contains my spirit animal. An angry bird that smells your LIES, and is totally a Pokemon.

actually a pokemon

I’M TOTALLY NOT A POKEMON

TL;DR: After Link saves the world, they all become BATTLE READY book wizards, but the MC is kicked out because he’s A SCREAMING LUNATIC, and there’s a Pokemon: the Anime.

 

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Ben-to – General

January 20, 2012 Leave a comment
CROSS COUNTER

CROSS COUNTER

Oh how I love you Ben-to. So crap, and yet so beautiful. Honestly if they had just stayed with epic battles and added in 10 more angry lesbians, I would have been happy. Sadly it was destined for HAREM CRAP, although I enjoyed it.

I guess the reason I enjoyed it was the the idea of people hurting each other over cheap food. Hello animal instincts! FUCK YE FIGHTING TO THE DEATH OVER LUNCH BOXES.

Also, the MC kinda managed to wave his GODDAMN DICK ALL OVER THE PLACE the entire time. Too much penis.

Togainu no Chi – General

January 1, 2011 2 comments

I played the Togainu no Chi VN, and then I decided to watch the anime, in the hopes for an ending that wasn’t ASS and FAIL, but I should have known better. Adaptations are never good, this is simply law. Not that they had much to work with since the VN :IS: an emo-fagfest, but they managed to make it worse somehow. Go figure. However, they decided to reference one of the endings in Keisuke’s route was so fucking ridiculous. Apparently Keisuke goes fucking insane due to loldrugs, and then rips out Akira’s intestines because he LOVES HIM, and then shouts the following:

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YOUR INSIDES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL AKIRA!

I guess the anime producers wanted to KIND OF stay true to the story, so they put it in a HIGHLY CENSORED dream. I often dream with lots of censorship myself, who doesn’t? Sadly, the ever so lulzy dialogue was taken out. ;__;

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HATERS GONNA HATE

Notice how they took out the background (since who dreams with fucking BACKGROUNDS nowadays?), and THE QUALITY IS ASS. It almost made watching the whole thing worth it, but then they gave me a shitty no end end, and I decided I still hate adaptations. WHERE IS MY KEISUKE END?!

Side note: The VN really is an emo-fagfest. I’m not lying. There are even RAPE DENS.

Highschool of the Dead – General

October 3, 2010 Leave a comment

Well, in all honesty, I had to watch this because I am an avid zombie fan. Mind you, I’m not a huge fan of PANTY SHOTS FOLLOWED BY IMMENSELY GORY SCENES, but it does provide the lulz. Also, it has too many BITCHES AND WHORES, but they are fairly BADASS/GAR teh womenz, so they can be forgiven.

Again, my entire premise for watching this anime is because of zombies, but also because HIRANO IS MOE AS SHIT (He’s also fucking GAR with a gun, but his moe knows no bounds). So moe I though I was going to explode. No lie. He proves that moe is not just for teh womenz.

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SO MOE~ MOE~ KYUN~ it should be a crime.

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This is BY FAR the most moe picture I have EVER SEEN of a man. I want him to bear my children. RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW.

Shidou is such an asshole, but I just can’t bring myself to want him to die in a horrible fire. It’s the Kira faces, I know it.

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Ladies~

Also, LOL ORGY BUS.

Seikimatsu Occult Gakuin – 1

July 21, 2010 1 comment
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I think this picture sums up my opinion of the show pretty well.

Once again we have a fucking Harry Potter anime, so HO BOY HERE WE GO, except this time they are calling it the “occult”. Whatever, I, for one, know this shit is fucking Harry Potter – The anime.

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It’s raining men, but she she doesn’t seem to like it. :<

One thing about this anime makes it worth watching. Spinning shadow penis. Yes, that’s right, spinning man penis in shadow form. If this is the only reason you watch this anime, you wouldn’t be the only one.

Basically you start out with the MYSTERIOUS happenings of some sort of fucktard running in the wood from a bat/moth (I hope it’s MOTHRA I really do) thing. Lame, but it’s prolly the fucking UBER VILLAIN of the show, so get fucking used to it. Fucktard face is talking on the telephone, but noone gives a shit about him, so he gets killed for not being an important character.

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Where did this guy get all the money to MAKE this shit?

It then cuts to this fucking school. It’s goddamn ridiculous. I THOUGHT THIS WAS 1999, NOT FUCKING 1700 AT THE CHATEAU IN VERSAILLES. Who the fuck has a school like that? Who the fuck would even go to a school that would look like that? It’s INSANELY CREEPY. I would take one look and be like, FUCK THIS SHIT, I’M GOING HOME.

Then Maya-who-the-fuck-cares is late to her Father’s funeral, but she doesn’t give a shit because HATERS GONNA HATE. They begin the funeral shit, and play some sort of tape. Who the fuck plays a tape recording during a funeral? Oh wait, noone cares because it’s anime.

Anyho, they do this funeral shit, and then her father says some sort of Latin, and suddenly I ACCIDENTALLY THE ANCIENT SPIRITS OF THE DEAD. Maya is all like, THIS NOT REAL YOU FOO’S, and yells that it’s staged, and everyone is a fuckface for thinking otherwise. I WONDER WHY THEY THINK THAT?

Sidenote: HELLO BATTLER V2: WOMAN STYLE. YOU’RE SO ORIGINAL I ALMOST DIDN’T NOTICE.

We get this zombie shit, well not quite because a spirit is possessing a dead body, and zombies have no soul, plus it can GODDDAMN FLY, so it’s a bit different. He flies out the window because he’s fucking tired of HATERS HATIN’. They then gather a gang of meddling kids, and go about searching the school like fucking Scooby Doo, minus the ascot.

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I don’t know which Scooby Doo character this is supposed to be, but it’s scaring me.

The quiet girl with glasses gets possessed or sum shit, and then SHIT GETS REAL. Maya then runs to some room of DESTINY, and talks with her father who’s supposed to be dead. Then she cuts his head of with an axe. I wish all my family reunions ended up like that. Worms then gush out his head (pretty normal thing to happen in my experience), and they put him back together for the actual end of the funeral, because he can no longer ACCIDENTALLY THE SPIRITS.

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Sexy beast. No lie.

Maya goes back outside because she needs to get away from all the HATERS HATIN’, and because she KEEPS IT REAL LIKE THAT. Plus I think she has a thing for sunsets. Sexually.

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Queue angelic music now please.

But before she can get a breather from all the horseshit going on, JESUS CHRIST DESCENDS FROM THE SKY. NAKED. It also has spinning man penis shadow, and I’m honestly not sure what they are going for. Maybe just spinning man penis shadow. Classic.

He then takes of his goggles THAT DO NOTHING, and she’s all like, “OMG PENIS”.

Overall: Not a bad episode. The animation was good, the story/plot seems interesting, and for summer season, it’s an okay watch. However, it NEEDS MORE VOLDEMORT.

Angel Beats – Clothes Pin Edition

May 23, 2010 Leave a comment
closepin wp

Awesome scene was awesome.

Hakuouki – Shinsengumi Kitan 6

May 22, 2010 Leave a comment
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That’s a very convincing face u have der, Sannan-kun.

I think this episode marks the beginning of where history and this anime diverge, which is fine, I guess, since TEH DEMONS are far more important anyway.

Anyho, the whole thing with Sannan-san kinda made me lol, because in history he actually dies, but in the anime, since we have this whole DEMON EXPERIMENTS subplot going on, they decided to have him “pretend die”, so that he can still be around, but everyone thinks he’s dead. How very clever.

The anime then moves to March 1865 when the Shinsengumi moved to Nishi Hongan-ji. They also showed scenes of Okita Souji coughing and the like, which is alluding to him becoming sick with tuberculosis, but he doesn’t become seriously ill until fall of 1867, so it might be a bit early to show him coughing and shit, but he may have had it for a long time.

It also shows Toudou Heisuke acting all weird. This might be an allusion to the fact that after he became aware that Sannan committed seppuku, he started to doubt the Shinsengumi, but I have no fucking idea what the anime is going to do with this since Sannan is “pretend dead”. Maybe he doesn’t know that he’s alive?

The anime then moves on to add in bullshit that really didn’t happen in this time period. Shogun Iemochi was summoned by the emperor to visit the capital (at the time it was Kyoto), so that he could accompany him to Nijou castle, BACK IN 1863. The Shinsengumi weren’t EVEN FUCKING FORMED YET, as all the members were still part of the Rōshigumi in 1863, goddamit. I guess the anime got bored and decided they needed more exciting things to happen, since 1865 is fucking boring Japanese history-wise, and lots of fun shit happened in 1863. I don’t fucking know, it goddamn wrong, and retarded, so who knows wut these assholes were thinking. And here I was thinking this anime was doing good on history, cept the LOLNO CONTEXT shit, but they had to fucking spoil it didn’t they?

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Wait, so Chizu-chan is TEH DEMONS now too? DOUSHITE?!

Next, I think I’ve started to figure out the whole TEH DEMONS part of the anime. The white haired people aren’t demons like the blond sexy beast or Chizuru (best pairing ever, please let it be so!), they are demon-like vampires. So the true DEMONS are normal looking with LOL SUPERPOWERS, and this medicine shit turns the other people into pretend demon vampire things (due to the whole “WE DRINK BLOOD, WE GO CRAZY” shit mentioned in the episode). VAMPIRES VS. DEMONS, WHO SHALL WIN?!!?!!?

Categories: Hakuouki Tags: , , , ,