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Hakuouki – Shinsengumi Kitan 6

May 22, 2010 Leave a comment

That's a very convincing face u have der, Sannan-kun.

I think this episode marks the beginning of where history and this anime diverge, which is fine, I guess, since TEH DEMONS are far more important anyway.

Anyho, the whole thing with Sannan-san kinda made me lol, because in history he actually dies, but in the anime, since we have this whole DEMON EXPERIMENTS subplot going on, they decided to have him “pretend die”, so that he can still be around, but everyone thinks he’s dead. How very clever.

The anime then moves to March 1865 when the Shinsengumi moved to Nishi Hongan-ji. They also showed scenes of Okita Souji coughing and the like, which is alluding to him becoming sick with tuberculosis, but he doesn’t become seriously ill until fall of 1867, so it might be a bit early to show him coughing and shit, but he may have had it for a long time.

It also shows Toudou Heisuke acting all weird. This might be an allusion to the fact that after he became aware that Sannan committed seppuku, he started to doubt the Shinsengumi, but I have no fucking idea what the anime is going to do with this since Sannan is “pretend dead”. Maybe he doesn’t know that he’s alive?

The anime then moves on to add in bullshit that really didn’t happen in this time period. Shogun Iemochi was summoned by the emperor to visit the capital (at the time it was Kyoto), so that he could accompany him to Nijou castle, BACK IN 1863. The Shinsengumi weren’t EVEN FUCKING FORMED YET, as all the members were still part of the Rōshigumi in 1863, goddamit. I guess the anime got bored and decided they needed more exciting things to happen, since 1865 is fucking boring Japanese history-wise, and lots of fun shit happened in 1863. I don’t fucking know, it goddamn wrong, and retarded, so who knows wut these assholes were thinking. And here I was thinking this anime was doing good on history, cept the LOLNO CONTEXT shit, but they had to fucking spoil it didn’t they?

Wait, so Chizu-chan is TEH DEMONS now too? DOUSHITE?!

Next, I think I’ve started to figure out the whole TEH DEMONS part of the anime. The white haired people aren’t demons like the blond sexy beast or Chizuru (best pairing ever, please let it be so!), they are demon-like vampires. So the true DEMONS are normal looking with LOL SUPERPOWERS, and this medicine shit turns the other people into pretend demon vampire things (due to the whole “WE DRINK BLOOD, WE GO CRAZY” shit mentioned in the episode). VAMPIRES VS. DEMONS, WHO SHALL WIN?!!?!!?

Categories: Hakuouki Tags: , , , ,

Hakuouki – Shinsengumi Kitan 5

May 21, 2010 Leave a comment

I seems this episode randomly skips forward to September 1864, and then later in the episode to Febuary 1865. THIS ANIME HAS NO FUCKING SENSE OF TIME WHATSOEVER, THEY JUST JUMP AROUND ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. It’s like OH HERE’S SOME IMPORTANT SHINSENGUMI SHIT THAT HAPPENED, LET’S SKIP HERE NOW.

Are you, like, TRYING to piss me off?

Oh DB, it seems you don’t know how to use google or wikipedia. The phrase you managed to fuck up is: “Revere the Emperor and expel the barbarians!” (“尊皇攘夷”). I mean come on, it was the fucking political slogan for overthrowing the Tokugawa bakufu during the Bakumatsu period, it’s not that hard to google, the fuck are you doing?

Anyway, to put this scene (and most of the episode) into historical context , there’s a bit of explaining to do (actually a lot). This phrase was part of the political philosophy of WESTERNERS ARE EVIL, GET RID OF THE SHOGUNATE, HE’S A RETARD supported but the Chōshū. The Shinsengumi were created, in opposition, to support the shogunate, and they weren’t really pro-western, but the shogunate didn’t want the westerners to blow up Japan, so he had to end isolationism (He even created an “Order to expel barbarians” (攘夷勅命) in March 1863, for fucks sake). I suppose the main problem was the the shogunate wasn’t anti-western ENOUGH for the Chōshū, but I don’t think anyone was really (FOR REALZ) ‘pro-western’ until the Meiji era, although the Chōshū seemed to have thought they were.

Actually it's the "Ittō-ryū" (一刀流), and DB decided it would be cool to misspell it. :/

As a result of this new found context, conveniently left out of the anime, since EVERYONE IN JAPAN KNOWS THIS BY HEART, it becomes apparent that, Itō Kashitarō, who they recruited, holds a totally different ideal from the Shinsengumi. He becomes their military adviser October 1864, but my only clue as to why is because when Itou and Kondou met in Edo, Itou’s BURNING DESIRE FOR KONDOU’S PENIS was too strong to refuse. This was part of the recruitment they did that added about 200 more members, which the anime covered quite well for once, because they got a SHIT LOAD OF CASH from the government for their good work in the Ikedaya Incident.

The anime then lolskips to February 1865 to the dispute that Sannan had with Itou and Kondou over relocating to Nishi Hongan-ji. It’s true that because of this (or so it’s thought) Sannan felt as if he was unneeded and tried to run away from the Shinsengumi, but this is where the anime and the history begin to be loltotally different.

History-wise Sannan, the GENERAL COMMANDER (fucking 1st sergeant my ass), tried to escape Feb 21, 1865, but was captured the next day, and forced to commit seppuku. However,  in the anime, he BECOMES THE DEMONS. I lol’d. This episode wasn’t too bad about the history this time, but again, they don’t give the viewer much context.

No John, you are the demons.

Categories: Hakuouki Tags: , ,

Hakuouki – Shinsengumi Kitan 4

May 2, 2010 Leave a comment

The main reason I watch this show - He's such a sexy beast.

I would first like to note that episode three, which was about the Ikedaya Incident, happened July 8, 1864. The fourth episode, featuring the the Hamaguri Gate rebellion (“Kinmon no Hen”), which included the Great Genji Fire, happened August 20, 1864. The anime seems to try to make you believe that they happened like RIGHT AFTER one another, but there’s nearly a whole month in which nothing happened.

Second, the Hamaguri Gate rebellion had little to nothing to do with the Shinsengumi. The Satsuma and Aizu clans were defending the capital against a mixed group of Choushuu and rebels. I’m sure the Shinsengumi played a small part, since they were formed to protect Tokugawa Iemochi, the 14th shogun, but they weren’t very important.

Third, the fire was an unintended side-effect of the rebellion. The Choushuu may or may not have started it, but that wasn’t the whole point of the fucking rebellion, it was the discontent of pro-imperial and anti-alien groups (AKA WESTERNERS MUST DIE), and I don’t think the anime made this clear, like, AT ALL. It made it seem like a random and unexplained event.

If your going to have an anime that encircles history, get the history fucking right.

Leaving that aside, most of this episode was fucking boring. About 90% of the whole episode was them fucking walking to places. They went to one place, and then they went to another. THATS NOT FUCKING INTERESTING. I think it’s a bit early for the shitty middle eps that have nothing happening in them, so they better step up next time. At least wait till 6/7 until you start having fucking boring shit, GODDAMN.

Then in the last 5 minutes after I had been bored out of my goddamn mind, they finally had the baddies come in and we got a little bit of action. Thank FUCKING GOD.

DAMN RIGHT YOU BETTER FUCK THEM UP.

They also had a character with a gun. GUNS IN MY SAMURAI ANIME? MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK! I don’t mind mixing it up, but I dunno about this. Was a revolver even available to people during this era? Let’s look at the facts: Perry had arrived in 1853, and this episode is taking place in 1864, meaning Western goods were being imported into Japan. So importation is possible! The earliest six barreled revolver, the Colt Peacemaker, later called the SAA, was patented in 1836, but HE DIDN’T EVEN START MAKING THEM UNTIL 1869, and it didn’t go into mass production until 1873. Unless he stole the patent, there’s just no way.

Final conclusion:  He could have had a gun, but not a revolver. Oh well, the main character can fucking REGENERATE HER WOUNDS, so I guess they aren’t going for the whole, REALITY thing anyway.

BOOM HEADSHOT - COLT STYLE

Other than just looking at the awesome sexy beasts that populate this anime, you can pretty much skip the whole thing except the last 5-6 minutes. Not much actually happened thats worth much talking about, except, of course, picking apart the faulty history. *YAWN*

Categories: Hakuouki Tags: , ,

Hakuouki – Shinsengumi Kitan 1-3

April 21, 2010 Leave a comment

Episode 1: Link
Episode 2: Link
Episode 3: Link

Another anime about the Shinsengumi? Hell yeah!

Oh wait, no, never mind, it’s really just an anime that’s based of a manga, Hakuouki Junrenka, which is loosely based off of a popular otome game (AKA Dating SIM/VA for girls), Hakuoki Zuisouroku. So it’s a reverse harem, Shinsengumi, game-manga adaptation, reverse trap anime, and it has demons in it somehow. What a shitload of fuck. I like the OP music, it flows with the images p damn well, and it’s not AIDS to my ears. My favorite Shinsengumi character from the series is Saitou, as he is the male TEH REI character type. Nothing says sexy like an emotion-less stare. I think I just might play the game instead.

But the real question at the end of the day for a Shinsengumi anime is:

Does it actually have important Shinsengumi characters in it?

Saitou Hajime for GREAT JUSTICE.

(Yes) Commander : Kondō Isami
(Yes) General Commander: Sannan Keisuke
(Yes) Vice Commander: Hijikata Toshizō
(Yes) Military Advisor: Itō Kashitarō
Troop Captains :
(Yes) 1. Okita Sōji
(Yes) 2. Nagakura Shinpachi
(Yes) 3. Saitō Hajime
(No) 4. Matsubara Chūji
(No) 5. Takeda Kanryūsai
(Yes) 6. Inoue Genzaburō
(No) 7. Tani Sanjūrō
(Yes) 8. Tōdō Heisuke
(No) 9. Suzuki Mikisaburō
(Yes) 10. Harada Sanosuke
Spies:
(Yes) Shimada Kai
(Yes) Yamazaki Susumu

14/18, not bad. Peacemaker had a few more than them, but since it’s based off an otome game, it actually doesn’t disappoint here. One of the few places I can say that about this anime.

I definitively have no clue as to why certain troop captains are are left out and others aren’t, as they designed them as the pleased (maybe the names were cooler), but they got most of them.

Ep 1 is basically about the main character getting attacked by random fucks from nowhere, and then undead, evil, spirit monster things kill her pursuers. These Shinsengumi people save her, only to then kidnap her and threaten to kill her again. Yeah, that makes sense.

Just fucking kill it, the hell does it matter?

Anyho, they decide not to kill her, but they say she can’t be let go because SHE KNOWS TOO MUCH (yeah right). It then shifts to making the point more about her FITTING IN, whatever that does towards to plot I have no fucking idea (must come from the game), and you get her back story about how she is searching for her father.

Then episode 2 starts, and you get more of that FITTING IN bullshit, but they have this whole thing where they are hunting down rebellious groups that are going to burn down Kyoto. BUT ON TEH NOES, there are two places they could go, so they split up. Trap girl finds out they went to the wrong place, and so she starts running around in desperation to tell them.

Run bitch, run! You have an arbitrary goal to meet!

In episode 3 we have trap girl running around some more with EPIC MUSIC going on the the BG. The group of Shinsengumi that she is frantically chasing after are just killing people left and right, and we get some delicious blood and violence. FUCK YER. After some fighting, trap girl meets the other party and tells them to help out the other group, and they head on over. They beat the shit out of everyone, but Okita gets his ass handed to him by this badass GAR motherfucker with red eyes (I’m sorry Saitou, you just got beat in sexiness).

I would hit that like the angry fist of God.

The battle, or whatever you want to call it, ends, and trap girl goes out with these two characters I don’t know the names of, and they see some sort of festival. I don’t get the point, but whatever (must be more game shit). The Shinsengumi then start their campaign against the Choushuu with the backing of the Aizu clan (AKA LOL HISTORY TIME), and trap girl decides to go with them. Hurray?

Awww, they're holding hands~

On a side note: I was going to use Aoi-Wasurenai for screen caps/links instead of DB because they don’t FUCKING ENCODE TO AVI, so the pictures/videos would look nicer, but their translations are either off, or just fucking wrong. The rest of the sub groups doing this series don’t fair much better tl-wise, and your only real option is DB, but it’s not that beautiful H264 720p everyone loves.