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Posts Tagged ‘Harry Potter’

Black Clover

May 22, 2018 Leave a comment

A shounen that has magical fighting battles with BOOKS, and TWO MCs instead of ONE?  Sign me the FUCK UP! There’s just one teeny, tiny, little, ITTY BITTY PROBLEM. It’s called “ASTA’S SCREAMING FACE HOLE”. Darn.

asta scream

HEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYERRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (Approximate noise me makes, always)

That’s right, fam. The MC (#1) can’t actually SHUT THE FUCK UP, ever. He screams. Always. I don’t know how you get past this, it’s constant, HE’S ONE OF THE MCs, it’s not like he GOES AWAY. For shame.

The plot is IDK Link saved the world from TEH DEMONS (when does he not), and now they are always BATTLE READY for everything with their super magic books. The number of clovers you have on a book means that UR A WIZARD HARRY.

totally not link

“WITNESS ME!”     -Totally not Link. Nope.

There’s some sorta cool character development, I guess, cuzz Asta goes from NO MAGICKS to ANTI-MAGICKS, and the other MC, EMO EDGELORD-chan, is super powerful because he can be STOIC AND SILENT. Maybe he’s really strong? Maybe it’s just Maybelline. Anyhow, none of that matters because the show contains my spirit animal. An angry bird that smells your LIES, and is totally a Pokemon.

actually a pokemon

I’M TOTALLY NOT A POKEMON

TL;DR: After Link saves the world, they all become BATTLE READY book wizards, but the MC is kicked out because he’s A SCREAMING LUNATIC, and there’s a Pokemon: the Anime.

 

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Seikimatsu Occult Gakuin – 1

July 21, 2010 1 comment
snapshot20100721001853

I think this picture sums up my opinion of the show pretty well.

Once again we have a fucking Harry Potter anime, so HO BOY HERE WE GO, except this time they are calling it the “occult”. Whatever, I, for one, know this shit is fucking Harry Potter – The anime.

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It’s raining men, but she she doesn’t seem to like it. :<

One thing about this anime makes it worth watching. Spinning shadow penis. Yes, that’s right, spinning man penis in shadow form. If this is the only reason you watch this anime, you wouldn’t be the only one.

Basically you start out with the MYSTERIOUS happenings of some sort of fucktard running in the wood from a bat/moth (I hope it’s MOTHRA I really do) thing. Lame, but it’s prolly the fucking UBER VILLAIN of the show, so get fucking used to it. Fucktard face is talking on the telephone, but noone gives a shit about him, so he gets killed for not being an important character.

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Where did this guy get all the money to MAKE this shit?

It then cuts to this fucking school. It’s goddamn ridiculous. I THOUGHT THIS WAS 1999, NOT FUCKING 1700 AT THE CHATEAU IN VERSAILLES. Who the fuck has a school like that? Who the fuck would even go to a school that would look like that? It’s INSANELY CREEPY. I would take one look and be like, FUCK THIS SHIT, I’M GOING HOME.

Then Maya-who-the-fuck-cares is late to her Father’s funeral, but she doesn’t give a shit because HATERS GONNA HATE. They begin the funeral shit, and play some sort of tape. Who the fuck plays a tape recording during a funeral? Oh wait, noone cares because it’s anime.

Anyho, they do this funeral shit, and then her father says some sort of Latin, and suddenly I ACCIDENTALLY THE ANCIENT SPIRITS OF THE DEAD. Maya is all like, THIS NOT REAL YOU FOO’S, and yells that it’s staged, and everyone is a fuckface for thinking otherwise. I WONDER WHY THEY THINK THAT?

Sidenote: HELLO BATTLER V2: WOMAN STYLE. YOU’RE SO ORIGINAL I ALMOST DIDN’T NOTICE.

We get this zombie shit, well not quite because a spirit is possessing a dead body, and zombies have no soul, plus it can GODDDAMN FLY, so it’s a bit different. He flies out the window because he’s fucking tired of HATERS HATIN’. They then gather a gang of meddling kids, and go about searching the school like fucking Scooby Doo, minus the ascot.

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I don’t know which Scooby Doo character this is supposed to be, but it’s scaring me.

The quiet girl with glasses gets possessed or sum shit, and then SHIT GETS REAL. Maya then runs to some room of DESTINY, and talks with her father who’s supposed to be dead. Then she cuts his head of with an axe. I wish all my family reunions ended up like that. Worms then gush out his head (pretty normal thing to happen in my experience), and they put him back together for the actual end of the funeral, because he can no longer ACCIDENTALLY THE SPIRITS.

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Sexy beast. No lie.

Maya goes back outside because she needs to get away from all the HATERS HATIN’, and because she KEEPS IT REAL LIKE THAT. Plus I think she has a thing for sunsets. Sexually.

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Queue angelic music now please.

But before she can get a breather from all the horseshit going on, JESUS CHRIST DESCENDS FROM THE SKY. NAKED. It also has spinning man penis shadow, and I’m honestly not sure what they are going for. Maybe just spinning man penis shadow. Classic.

He then takes of his goggles THAT DO NOTHING, and she’s all like, “OMG PENIS”.

Overall: Not a bad episode. The animation was good, the story/plot seems interesting, and for summer season, it’s an okay watch. However, it NEEDS MORE VOLDEMORT.