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Seikimatsu Occult Gakuin – 1

July 21, 2010 1 comment

I think this picture sums up my opinion of the show pretty well.

It seems that animators can’t stop making fucking Harry Potter anime, so here we go again, except this time they are calling it the “occult”. Whatever, I, for one, know this shit is fucking Harry Potter – The anime.

It's raining men, but she she doesn't seem to like it. :<

One thing about this anime makes it worth watching. Spinning shadow penis. Yes, that’s right, spinning man penis in shadow form. If this is the only reason you watch this anime, you wouldn’t be the only one.

Basically you start out with the MYSTERIOUS happenings of some sort of fucktard running in the wood from a bat/moth (I hope it’s MOTHRA I really do. That would make my day for about a week) thing. Lame, but it’s prolly the fucking UBER VILLAIN of the show, so get fucking used to it. Fucktard face is talking on the telephone, but noone gives a shit about him, so he gets killed for not being an important character.

Where did this guy get all the money to MAKE this shit?

It then cuts to this fucking school. It’s goddamn ridiculous. I THOUGHT THIS WAS 1999, NOT FUCKING 1700 AT THE CHATEAU IN VERSAILLES. Who the fuck has a school like that? Who the fuck would even go to a school that would look like that? I would take one look and be like, FUCK THIS SHIT, I’M GOING HOME.

Then bitch-face (Maya) is late to her Father’s funeral, but she doesn’t give a shit because HATERS GONNA HATE. They begin the funeral shit, and play some sort of tape. Who the fuck plays a tape recording during a funeral? Oh wait, noone cares because it’s anime, and that’s just okay now.

Anyho, they do this funeral shit, and then her father says some sort of Latin shit, and suddenly I ACCIDENTALLY THE ANCIENT SPIRITS OF THE DEAD. Maya is all like, THIS NOT REAL YOU FOO’S, and yells that it’s staged, and everyone is a fuckface for thinking otherwise. I WONDER WHY THEY THINK THAT?

Sidenote: HELLO BATTLER V2: WOMAN STYLE. YOU’RE SO ORIGINAL I ALMOST DIDN’T NOTICE.

We get this zombie shit, well not quite because a spirit is possessing a dead body, and zombies have no soul, plus it can GODDDAMN FLY, so it’s a bit different. He flies out the window because he’s fucking tired of HATERS HATIN’. They then gather a gang of meddling kids, and go about searching the school like fucking Scooby Doo, minus the ascot.

I don't know which Scooby Doo character this is supposed to be, but it's scaring me.

The quiet girl with glasses gets possessed or sum shit, and then SHIT GETS REAL. Maya then runs to some room of DESTINY, and talks with her father who’s supposed to be dead. Then she cuts his head of with an axe. I wish all my family reunions ended up like that. Worms then gush out his head (pretty normal thing to happen in my experience), and they put him back together for the actual end of the funeral, because he can no longer ACCIDENTALLY THE SPIRITS.

Sexy beast. No lie.

Bitch-face goes back outside because she needs to get away from all the HATERS HATIN’, and because she KEEPS IT REAL LIKE THAT. Plus I think she has a thing for sunsets. Sexually.

Queue angelic music now please.

But before she can get a breather from all the horseshit going on, JESUS CHRIST DESCENDS FROM THE SKY. NAKED. It also has spinning man penis shadow, and I’m honestly not sure what they are going for. Is this supposed to be funny? I sure as hell thought it was. Spinning man penis shadow. Classic.

He then takes of his goggles THAT DO NOTHING, and she’s all like, “OMG PENIS”.

Sidenote: I hate 3DPIGDISGUSTING ED’s. I really do. I don’t want to see that shit after watching an entire animated episode, it looks lame. If I wanted real people I’d watch some goddamn dorama’s.

Overall: Not a bad episode. The animation was good, the story/plot seems interesting, and for summer season, it’s an okay watch. It beats Ichiban Ushiro no Daimaou, the other Harry Potter – The (HAREM) Anime (AKA Harry Potter – Color Wars), but the whole bat/moth thing seems like a lame-ass thing to fight. AKA NEEDS MORE VOLDEMORT.